Choose Your Words Wisely...

Among my friends, we have a fascination for sasuls for the longest time. If you don’t already know, sasul or sasau is mispronouncing (or mis-sentencing) your sentence or words. For example, today we were watching a game of football while at TGIF and I meant to ask a friend which football team he supported and what had to come out?.. “Hey, which balls do you support?” He responded, “The left one”. Haha, I wished I could turn back time sometimes…

Anyway, we have a blast keeping record of it and bringing it up later so it might come back to haunt me. But, the champ would go to a certain chap which I should not mention names for fear of a defamation suit (or he might get back at me with a youtube video). Just some examples by him:

The slope is so stiff (wait, did he meant steep and not stiff?)

Handcuffs are sharp, it can cut your cuffs (in this case the cuffs is supposed to be wrist)

You can just crumple the Marie biscuit (how could you crumple biscuits right? ahahahaha)

Make or die, do or break (correction… Make or break, Do or die)

How much is a blueberry (How could he get this so wrong when he meant to say Blackberry – as in the smart phone)

These are just some that I can remember of… And these are just some other random ones I’ve come across:

Like that lah huh… You come back from London, don’t know how to ask how I me?

It was a sperm of the moment (hahahaha)

We should go watch Lord of the Rings, The tu tua (The Two Towers actually)

At a prayer session in a home while reading the 3rd Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary - "....They then pulled his bird (meant to be beard) and spat upon him" (Blasphemous if it was not a sasul. Worst thing was, it was accompanied by a fart from her son. We had to try REALLY hard not to laugh because it was a prayer session but we were trembling in silent laughter and covering our faces with the books we had).

I promise to be true to you in good times and in bed (while exchanging wedding vows in the church… Then you hear snickering and you just don’t want to look at your friends)

On the way for a night of clubbing and a friend excitedly goes like "Come on people, let's freakin' boogerrrrr...!" (It's supposed to be boogey and according to an online dictionary booger simply means a piece of dried mucus in or from the nose).

One more sasul before I’m done. I have a friend named Eifel who got married to Susan. Anyway, during the reception, someone from his church went up the stage to say a short prayer before we ate. He started out well and then it got to mentioning the newly married couple in his prayer and it went like, “…. May the Lord bless Eifel and Tower (Susan, remember?) in their marriage…” Worst thing is he mentioned their names a few times and Susan became Tower throughout. Again, it was pretty difficult not to LOL.

Eifel and Tower are happily married with 2 kids… Sorry Susan!

Fade Away

When silence speaks, will we listen?
Will we pretend it was a whisper?
If blindness sees, would it be disappointed?
To have gained sight, it lost some
And when deafness is no more, would it shut its ear?
To mute the unknown for so long

For What?

There are some things that are worth fighting for but when do we realize to stop? It’s too vague most of the time and it has transparent boundaries. It’s hard to see, it’s hard to judge, it’s difficult to comprehend even.

Too little for too much? Not worth it…

Thou Shall Not...

Dad made some noise about me cutting my finger nails at night. He heard the click of the nail cutter from my room which I had shut the door. You know it’s almost like I do not have a choice. How could I be cutting nails during working hours or even lunch time? It so happens I realize I need to cut my nails on a weekday.

I don’t buy most pantangs and it started for reasons applicable maybe during when JWW Birch was alive. You might end up cutting your flesh in the dark and so they created a pantang to avoid such mishaps. What else? Anak dara’s are not allowed to sing in the kitchen cos they will end up marrying an old man. At least you could still sing in the shower, as far as I know. However, I would abide to one pantang in particular…

After Timmy got involved with an accident, we had a party at his home and he required the assistance of crutches. Lyn and I were curious about how it felt like walking with crutches and so we played with it. The rest we’re freaking out about a so call pantang that says you should not play with crutches. Honestly, I didn’t know such thing existed and anyway what’s the big deal? We were playing with it for a very very short while.

The next weekend, we had a netball tournament and Lyn and I were in the same team, Team Bumble Bee. We were in the Youth Ministry back then and we organised a friendly match comprising of guys and girls per team. It was supposed to be a FRIENDLY match but I guess when you play with guys, they think they are in a football match and they’re not used to the 3 feet-distance contact that we have been trained for. My position as Goal Defence (GD) required me to guard the Goal Attacker (GA) which happened to be a former school footballer, just my luck! At the end, I don’t know how Lyn ended up injuring herself cos I was busy sitting at the bench trying to figure out why my toe was pointing upwards.

After an x-ray, I ended up with a dislocated toe with injuries to the tissue and my once injured ankle started to swell again. It does not help when you follow Grey’s Anatomy and have seen Dr. Callie Torres place back bones into its place. Yup, it’s painful! So, after my ordeal, I checked on Lyn who ended up tearing some ankle tissue and guess what? We were both advised to use crutches. Naturally, my mind went back to the night we were goofing around with crutches.

Even with pain killers, I couldn’t sleep as I tossed and turned trying to fall sleep while my whole foot throbbed in pain and then to top it off, as I was making my way to the loo in the dark, I kicked on a hard suitcase. Ironically, it was Lyn’s suitcase. I cursed… And then of course the “I told you so” came and going to office required me to walk about 200 metres from the car park and up flights of staircase. The building is not handicap friendly with lifts.

It is not the worst pain I’ve been through but it was still painful. So, as much as I don’t give 2 hoots about most pantangs, I will not take any chances with crutches which means I will still be cutting my nails at night and I will still sing in the kitchen. I will however not scream in the jungle or flash lights onto trees at night and I will still knock on my hotel room before I enter… I’m choosy.

Voice Within

Women are gifted with intuition and I have reasons to say this… So, ladies, if you feel that your gut feeling is telling you something, trust it but there’s a fine line between paranoia and intuition. It’s human to be paranoid but it’s woman to be intuitive…

But then you have denial… Well, that’s when the 'senses' come in. Look around and you’ll have eyes, ears and nose that will help. They are called friends!

Winds of Change

I went downstairs for a breather… Needed a break as I was starting to get really irritated from the continuous phone calls from colleagues, bosses and auditors adding more to work. It’s not easy juggling work from the 3 bosses I have who are divisional heads of Legal, Corporate Affairs and Finance (pretty different things). I wished it was men fighting for my time rather then bosses fighting for my time to get their work done.

As I took my break, I thought back of the times when I used to work at the Corporate Office where the employees were all women except the Directors of course. There were only 20 of us based there. You would think having relatively so many women in an office, the level of bitchiness was at its top notch. Yes, it was at times. The funny thing is we would fight over work and when it came to lunch, we would all together have our lunch at our little pantry, shared our food and chit chat about everything except work. The topic would range from politics to entertainment and sometimes sex (trust me, it can get pretty juicy).

I remember at one time, I was looking for a file under my table and one of my colleagues came to my desk and said not very nice things. It pissed me off and as I got up to give her a piece of my mind, I hit my head so hard from underneath the desk, I scrapped the idea. I guess sometimes, things do happen for a reason and in this case, it kind of gave me time to cool down. Next thing, we were having lunch together as always, chit chatting.

Another, was when our Directors informed my department on a Thursday that the company was to have a signing ceremony with our business partner on the coming Monday in the presence of the then Prime Minister Pak Lah, Transport Minister and a bunch of VIPs. Such little time and it was approaching weekend! I remember looking at my boss’ pale face and I think I went pale myself. When there’s a bunch of VIP, it becomes more rigid, more petty and more everything. We had to call every hotel in Putrajaya and beg them for a venue. I remember still being in the office at 11pm, fighting back tears with the amount of work and being down with a fever and flu. In the end of the day, the bunch of us who worked our ass off and had dark circles around our eyes felt privileged to be part of the ceremony but were still pissed with the Directors for putting us through hell.

I miss those times a lot and how the housekeeping lady always asked me if I had my breakfast every morning, without fail. She was so motherly and she genuinely cared if I have filled my stomach. It’s been 6 years + working in the company. A lot has changed especially after we were plagued by an accounting scandal. At one point, we were dubbed as the darling of share markets and then the headlines went to “…… Falls from Grace”. Being in the Corporate Office, I got to witness a lot of things during the scandal and some of my colleagues shed tears over it. I work with people who have served long in the company and even now the company comprises of long serving staff.

It got really depressing at one point but I guess, it is up to us to adapt to changes and to expect it. I’ve learned too and saw that greed can destroy not only one person but a whole company. To build it up back, it’s never easy. It comes back to haunt after years.

I will move on one day, maybe even to a different industry but not just yet. I still love my job, not all the time but most of the time.

Hoping things get better…

This Is It But Not The End

“I think MJ will be turning in his grave”, I said to my friend. It was our second attempt of watching This Is It and we were both late when we finally met outside the cinema. Don’t get me started on what happened to the first attempt. Basically, we didn’t manage to catch it despite having tickets.

I have been an MJ fan since I laid eyes on him. When he passed away, mum woke me up from sleep to tell me. I was glued to the TV when I realised I was gonna be late for work. I drove back home for lunch to catch more on the news of his death and also reading the news online. We watched him being sent away as a family and there were parts where we all went silent not looking at each other. I know when that happens, it only means that we’re trying to keep our composure. When the bishop uttered the final prayers, we held hands and prayed together.

Despite the accusations pointed at him, I always felt that the biggest mistake he made was to put himself in a vulnerable position where people were able to easily accuse him for their own personal gain. We will never know what took place except for him and the so called victims and if it was all true. What made me sad was feeling that he died a sad man. He may be happy but I would guess he was sad most of the time. The world mourned like they’ve never mourned before…

Watching Michael Jackson’s This Is It, I understood what made him this successful surpassing the test of time. He was such a detailed person, he knew what he wanted, he had a whole vision of how it was supposed to turn out. A true perfectionist, I must say. A trait that definitely made him go this far. He knew how to speak to people when he had to correct them, he was very polite. Inspiring! Along the way, you will see that he was also child like. At times, viewers just went silent when they saw him struggle at some parts and I kept noticing how thin his legs were. He looked bad but that doesn’t mean he was not a star. He was a star in his own right… No one could take it from him, he owned it.

MJ would definitely hate the idea that we’re watching a raw part of the production of This Is It but it was spectacular getting to know the star rather than see him only in the spotlight where everything was perfect. The imperfectly beautiful at times can be more beautiful, I now believe. The world will always remember him for being the most talented person in the entertainment history and the future generation will know him because we will speak about him and still listen to his music.

May his soul rest in peace and may he find the happiness he deserves…

Had I Known, How To Save a Life

I recently yearned for a hug. A nice warm sincere hug that would speak for itself and I got it... I got it in the form of words. I never realised that a hug could be given with words. It made me feel so much better.

I am learning and when I fall, I feel like crap. I am my worst enemy and sometimes I need a hand that I can grip tight to pull me up. I've learned that the unspoken can be toxic and it would eventually build up and weaken you. It's dangerous when you are unaware of what it's doing to you.

And now, I am suddenly reminded of the song 'How to Save a Life' by the Fray. It was inspired with a story of a young man telling the writer of his problems. Not knowing how to help this young man, the writer wished he had a manual to help this young man.

I guess I would start with a hug... Having said what I've said, I am still happy and I feel blessed.