Damn!

I love you today, tomorrow you're trash
I love looking at you
I can't stand the sight of you next
You make me sick, you're a hangover

You're so painful, that I need Anesthetic
You make me nauseous like a food poisoning
You say I'm the one and then you take it back
Typically fickle, go eat a pickle!

Look what you've done!
I'm so wicked now
You've made me so lame
I've only got you to blame

I'm in so much pain but I laugh
I'm sorrowed, I have to tickle myself
I cry but I pretend it's dust
You have numbed me, I'm permanently cold

You hurt me bad and then you're sorry
And then I seem to deserve it?
Make up your mind *knock knock*
Do you have one?

You have a heart of gold, you do
At times you can't find your heart
You say sweet words
And then you curse

"Good night darling"
And then you ruin my morning
What are you?
A woman's hormone?

You're unpredictable
You're volatile
You're a true Gemini
You're confused!

You're two person
You hug me and stab my back
You're Jekyll and Hyde
No really... WHAT are you?

Here's a handshake
Here's a hug
Here's to a good life
Without you!

Sorry, I take it back
Nah, haha... I mean it!
I would like to make a toast
To my happy ending...

It's my blog
I write what I want
Call me what you want
Who are you again?

-THE END-

Note: The above is fictional and no pun intended specifically towards any man, woman, child, animal, creature or organism.

We should love one another!

Maid of Bridezilla

As a way of preparing myself for the honourable role of the Maid of Honour, I thought I would research more into it. You never know how you could be a much better help

Maid of Honor Duties and
Responsibilities

The maid of honor duties are perhaps the most demanding of anyone involved in the wedding - possibly with the exception of the blushing bride herself.

Being a maid of honor means, you are the bride's chief cohort, her number one assistant and best girlfriend.

To be part of the bridal party is a great honor and a high compliment, as only the elite are chosen to be part of the team. The maid of honor or matron of honor, is often a relative or close friend of the bride, she has to be dependable, because she helps in all facets of the wedding planning.

The Matron of Honor or Maid of Honor Duties

Maid of honor responsibilities

- She helps the bride pick her wedding dress.
- Pays for her own dress and accessories.
- Hosts the hen's night or bridal shower.
- Signs the Marriage Certificate.
- She carries the groom's ring.

The Wedding Ceremony

- Helps the bride with dressing and assists with the train,
- Assists with the bridal veil.
- Holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.
- Carries an emergency kit with needle and thread.
- Carries extra nylons, a roll of tape etc...
- Holds a copy of any special prayers.
- Holds a copy of any readings for the ceremony.
- She stands by the bride at the altar.
- Supervises the bridesmaids.

At the reception

- She is seated at the table of hour with the bride and groom.
- During the reception, she mixes with the guests.
- Is photographed as part of the wedding party.
- She dances with the best man at the reception.
- She helps the bride with her train during bridal waltz.
- Helps the brides with train during photography.
- Gathers the single women for bouquet toss.
- Assists the bride in dressing for the honeymoon.
- Returning clothing items to the bride's home after the reception.
- May receive a shower gift and wedding gift from the bride.

No sweat... Not at all *wipes forehead*

Eric vs Erica

I was having a conversation with my mum and I said "It's grandma's year, year of the tiger" and mum goes like, "Shhh... she never admits she's a Tiger". Huh? So mum explained...

Apparently, in the olden days, if a Chinese man courts a woman who's born in the year of the tiger and finds that out, he would drop her. Tiger ladies were bad news. It's easy to understand the theory. So I said in a whisper, "It's probably why she married an Indian man then". I love my grandma and apparently the tiger and pig (my year) are like friends according to the Chinese astrology and a pig's biggest opposition party is the snake (animals are political too) but Grandma can be unreasonably superstitious or just unreasonably unreasonable.

She's a Hakka woman, known to be fierce and hardworking (I agree) and Hakka people are known to eat the animals we don't usually eat. Like dogs, monkeys and even elephant (yes, that big grey gigantic animal with a long nose). I know what I'm talking about. We do have Hakka-borned ancestry members in the family. Back to Grandma and her believes like women are second class gender, there's no way of rationalizing men and women as equal being. I could give so many examples which doesn't need her saying it out loud but I shall not.

While lunching with my female colleagues of the Indian and Chinese race, I brought this up and they seem to agree. They all have stories to tell, all of them. What a woman does for her mother (I'm not talking about my mum and I) seems to be less appreciated than what a man does less for his mother. My dad totally agrees, he has a sister and they are children of this grandma I'm gossiping about. Some things are obvious. After all, Grandma got disappointed when my mum gave birth to twin girls. She must have thought, "Can't at least one be a boy?" Her grandsons got presents when she visited but not her grand-daughters. I used to wait for my present when she was distributing them only to realise that she had finished distributing them. Then all the girls will just keep quiet. Looks like I just gave some examples.

Generally, I do think women are more of the jealous-traited gender out of the 2 (sorry ladies!) but I feel not when it comes to a mother's love or a father's love. Times have change, my generation suffer less of such believes cos people are more modern in their thinking. Sometimes, I wonder what would it be like if I had a brother? Hmm... My parents are pretty much not bothered about the typical Asian believes. Dad has learnt to accept that his daughter cuts nails at night and doesn't mind that she has a lot of black in her wardrobe although her Grandma did once. Maybe my sister and I would just be less visible to Grandma. Duh! Obviously.

In the generation I live in, it's pretty much called sexism. Anyway, I just thought... what could be worst than the Indian women in those days having to burn themselves together with their husband's dead body, a ritual called the Sati? We're human, not some meat to be barbecued. Then you have the honour killing of women among some community of the Middle Easterns because it's honourable for a father or brother to kill their daughter or sister when she dates in secret a man not of their choice and gets caught . These girls don't necesarily need to sleep with the men they're dating to be killed. How sad... I would have been killed a long time ago if living in such community.

The Chinese culture isn't so bad after all comparatively huh? At least we still get ang pows...

Readers Digest

S[he] be[lie]ve[d]

What do you make out of it?

Here's a conversation:

Guy: Thanks for the drink
Gal: Sure, you got the last one

A topic pursues... then...

Guy: Can I thank you for the drink?
Gal: (Hmmm....) You already thanked me...
Guy: Yeah, I want to do it in a different way
Gal: Hey, how's your girlfriend?
Guy: Come on...
Gal: No
Guy: Just a kiss
Gal: NO!

A topic pursues...

"She believed" and "He lied"... Some say "It's complicated"...

Booty-ful

I recently met up with a friend and we're just talking about the good ol times when he started complaining about his nieces. All I could think was the time I went to a party hosted by his family and my eyes almost popped out watching his 8 and 10 year old nieces dancing too sensually to a number. No girl I know would have danced that way. I mean we're talking about slow striptease moves *hands move from down to up... to... hair* kinda thing. To top it all, they had make up on.

I couldn't help but blame Beyonce for it. I looked away feeling rather uncomfortable while their mother looked not saying anything. In no way, am I in a position to judge one's parenting skill cos I am not a mother but... seriously... The elder girl is already 13 and my friend complains about how low her neckline is and how high her hemline is and he is disturbed by the fact that she and company dances or rather imitate Beyonce and that her (his niece) 13 year old friend tried to hit on him. It's pretty fair for him to be concerned.

I was borned under the Echo Boomers Generation or known as the MTV Generation and yeah, I remember watching a lot of Debbie Gibson, NKOTB and Michael Jackson and that dude Tommy Page. Now, the music of the same genre and its videos have become all so sexual and naked and it's very much idolised by young teen girls. I was a teenage girl, I know what is it like and why a girl idolises another female who's "all that". I remember wanting abs like the TLC girls after watching their video Creep but I also admired Gwen Stefani's originality as a woman when she was in No Doubt. I always loved funkiness, a little bit of grunge and never one to follow every trend that comes.

I grew out of idolising women in such way. I admit I wish to have more curves now like Beyonce or J.Lo but it's just a figure of speech, I just prefer to gain more weight since I'm underweight. But really, while idolising "hot" women, I 've also admired the elegant and classy women. Like? My dad's crush, Audrey Hepburn. Just look at her sing Moon River by the window in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Stunning! Even at an older age, she still had such grace, not botoxed, plasticised or enhanced or whatsoever... just herself. She always had a clean unscandaled reputation.

I've admired how my eldest cousin raised her kids and in particular how well behaved and full of character her 5 year old daughter is. I realised that a girl's self-esteem is so important for her not to be so caught up with the glamour world. I believe one who's confident and has a high self-esteem would not be too pressured in being someone else but themselves. She would think, "Beyonce is Beyonce and I am ME". So, I have made a mental note to work on my kid's self-esteem... when I have kids. Do you catch yourself doing mental notes like that?

A girl is always too skinny, too fat, too short too whatever. She's always highly critical of herself. But I think, it's so important to appreciate self-worth and focus on other appealing features as a person. If we found it so hard to realise that, let's not allow the same for the kids we're gonna have. They're never too young to educate. A girl's gotta know the right time she should start wearing make up. When she realises it's not make up that would make her feel pretty or good or better and that she can feel the same without it.

The classic saying goes... "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". It doesn't necessarily mean, good physical genes or how you could pop your booty. It's many things...

Ash Wednesday

It's ash Wednesday. Personally, I've got a lot to give up or "put on hold" if I choose to fast properly. Ode and I had a chat on the human instinct or perhaps better way to put it is the human weakness, one that's hard to abstain from cos it's human to want it. On the other hand there's vices OR doing things relatively over the top to the Lent season. I seem to fail at fasting that I thank God I was not a Muslim. I admire the Hindus and the Muslims for their regard to fast. I think I should even wipe off the dust on my bible and start reading it even. After all, I am a Catholic, proud to be one, pledged to die as one. Why not find out the worth of it?

Anyway, let's start with what's Ash Wednesday? An excerpt from Wikipedia:

In the Roman Catholic Church, Ash Wednesday is observed by fasting, abstinence from meat, and repentance—a day of contemplating one's transgressions.

The priest or minister says one of the following when applying the ashes:

Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.

—Genesis 3:19

Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.

—Mark 1:15

Repent, and hear the good news.

—Mark 1:15

On Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, Roman Catholics between the ages of 18 and 59 are permitted to consume only one full meal, which may be supplemented by two smaller meals, which together should not equal the full meal. Some Roman Catholics will go beyond the minimum obligations demanded by the Church and undertake a complete fast or a bread and water fast. Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are also days of abstinence from meat (for those Catholics age 14 and over), as are all Fridays in Lent. Some Roman Catholics continue fasting during the whole of Lent,^{[citation needed]} as was the Church's traditional requirement,^{[citation needed]} concluding only after the celebration of the Easter Vigil.

The start of Lent is also a huge celebration of festivity in many countries like the Brazilian Carnival. An excerpt from Wikipedia:

The Carnival of Brazil, properly spelled "Carnaval" in Portuguese, is an annual festival in Brazil held forty days before Easter. On certain days of Lent, Roman Catholics and some other Christians traditionally abstained from the consumption of meat and poultry, hence the term "carnival," from carnelevare, "to remove (literally, "raise") meat."^[1] Carnival celebrations are believed to have roots in the pagan festival of Saturnalia, which, adapted to Christianity, became a farewell to bad things in a season of religious discipline to practice repentance and prepare for Christ's death and resurrection.

Carnival is the most famous holiday in Brazil and has become an event of huge proportions. The country stops completely for almost a week and festivities are intense, day and night, mainly in coastal cities. ^[2] The consumption of beer accounts for 80% of annual consumption and tourism receives 70% of annual visitors. The government distributes condoms and launches awareness campaigns at this time to prevent AIDS dissemination.

My friend Rodrigo from Brazil told me that they hardly sleep during this time cos they can't even sleep in the first place due to the noise and apparently according to my friend Brian, during this time, men get to just touch women freely and they wouldn't even mind. Hmmm...

I just went off track haven't I?

Stupid Cupid

Watching Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day got me feeling connected to a lil bit each of the characters. My favourite part was when it said "When you love someone, you gotta love the good and the bad about them". It totally hit a spot to a bull's eye. It was in the past that I was stupid enough to allow someone to take control of me as a person to a point that I didn't even know myself. I didn't know who I was supposed to be. I forgot how to feel many things... Does it make sense?

I blamed myself a lot, everything seemed to be my fault even though I couldn't rationalize it. It was at one point that my closest friends told me that for the longest time they did not recognize me anymore. At that very point, I wished they told me earlier, it would have saved me so much of the confusion I had. I remember telling them "Why didn't you tell me earlier, I wished you guys did". In fact, I was a little angry at them to be honest but would have I listened before? I doubt!

I learned that no one can make you feel low unless you allow it, no one is perfect even if you try to be a better person, it's just not human. I learned that if you feel something's not right with your friend, it might help a lot if you bring it up with them. It's OK to hurt them sometimes.

So what happened to that chapter? It ended after a long time and I got the apology I feel I deserved much to my amazement cos like I said, a friend should tell you when you're going off course and when you're right and wrong.

Tick Tock

I'm tired of waking up with regrets...

Please let this day past by fast. The coffee seems bad, the music hurts my head and a cigarette is just toxic. I want silence and darkness and the pounding on my head to stop...