You Jump, I'll Stay.

Friends and I were just chilling having our occasional teh tarik session and then the topic came around suicide. I cringed... The word never fails to make me feel uneasy. One of them was relating a story of a woman who is a wife and a mother and her 3 suicide attempts over a short span.

In my opinion, there are those who are genuinely suicidal due to extreme emotional problems or sickness. Kurt Cobain committed suicide at the time when he was suffering from Bipolar Disorder. An illness that makes you the happiest person at one time and makes you the lowest scum you can ever feel the next. It's really sad to have to go through that and we can never understand how bad it is.

But for someone who attempts suicide by jumping from the first floor knowing her husband was nearby like the woman in my friend's story? Come on! I was quick to say, "She should at least go to the 15th floor and do it properly without anyone knowing". Suicide is no laughing matter but when someone uses that as a weapon to black mail another then I have lost all respect for the suicider (if there is such a word). She after all did drink a little bit of Clorox at her third attempt which didn't require her to even go to the clinic for treatment. I was not the only one laughing at that. I don't think we're being cold-hearted here.

What happens next? In any similar case, the suicidee (if there's such a word) would end up hating the "suicidal" person for making him lose his peace of mind to the brink of insanity himself and try and coax her to stop again and again until he figures a way to best handle it. Eventually when he cannot handle it anymore because nothing seems right anyway, he would tell her "You know what? Do both of us a favour and kill yourself" and she won't (I can't guarantee it though) and you pray to God that she won't. It is the same experience a few people I know have encountered. We have known... alright, dated suiciders and we have been the suicidee and we share the same common feeling... Hate, traumatised, trapped, angry and suicidal ourselves and it's not easy to overcome the feeling. It haunts and scars and you get back that whole feeling all over again at times.

But, at the end of the day, one has to remind himself that life's too short to carry all this negativity and miss out on happiness. Not everyone are suiciders, of course. The suicidees have one similar trait most of them time... They go single for a long time (pun intended).

Last but not least, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Football Bloopers

Dreams vs Reality In a Day

Weird dreams in a day:

• Lifting your trousers and underneath it, is pretty hairy legs that put Persian rugs to shame
• Being chased by an Arowana
• Tsunami hitting your window and you're holding the window against the forces of the wave

Reality in a day:

• Waking up after finding hard to fall asleep
• Bumping into your ex you've not seen in 10 years
• Listening to suicidal attempts of someone that "looks so much like you"

Mestre Bimba

Manuel dos Reis Machado, commonly called Mestre Bimba (born November 23, 1899, Salvador, Brazil - February 5, 1974) was a mestre (a master practitioner) of the Afro-Brazilian martial art capoeira. He was the father of modern capoeira and was responsible of the birth of capoeira regional.

Bimba's academy rules

Bimba strongly believed capoeira had an extraordinary value as a self-defense martial art, hence his efforts to develop its learning in a structured and methodical way.

Bimba developed a capoeira teaching method with commandments, principles and traditions, which are still part of the capoeira regional up to this day. Some of his commandments are:

• To stop smoking and drinking since it interferes with the players' performance;
• To avoid demonstrating one's progression as a capoeira player outside the academy (the "surprise" factor is crucial);
• Avoid conversation during training, instead observe and learn from watching.
• Practice daily the basic fundamentals.
• Do not be afraid to come close to your opponent – the closer that you get, the more you will learn.
• Keep your body relaxed.
• It is better to get beat up in the roda than on the streets.
• Students must maintain good grades in school

Bimba also established his own capoeira principles as the basis for his capoeira teaching method:

• Gingar sempre (to keep oneself in constant movement when fighting); ginga is the capoeira basic movement;
• Esquivar sempre (to dodge away from the opponent's attacks);
• All movements must have a purpose (attack and corresponding defense movement);
• Preserve a constant fixed position on the ground (acrobatic jumps makes one vulnerable);
• Play according to the rhythm determined by the berimbau (capoeira musical instrument):
• Respect a player when he/she can no longer defend an attack movement;
• Protect the opponent's physical and moral integrity (during the practice, the stronger will protect the weaker player).

Consequently, Bimba created several traditions and rituals to support his methodology:

• A chair was used in order to train beginner students/players;
• The charanga is the capoeira orchestra, composed by a berimbau and two pandeiros;
• The singing (quadras e corridos), songs composed by Bimba to accompany the game;
• The batizado (baptism), the first time the student plays capoeira at the sound of berimbau.

The aspects that still makes capoeira regional unique is its method:

• Admission exam (physical test made with capoeira movements to identify students' abilities);
• The sequência (sequence) of the basic 17 capoeira attack and defence movements;
• Practice of the different rhythms of the game;
• Specific movements: traumatizing, projection, connected and unbalancing;
• Practice of cintura desprezada (second sequence practice by advanced students);
• Formatura (capoeira teacher graduation);
• Especialização and emboscada (specific advanced exams).

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manuel_dos_Reis_Machado

Song of a Piscean

One of the highlights of American Idol that I look forward to is the Idol Gives Back where the program uses star power to raise money for the impoverish African nation. My favourite performance was a duet of Celine Dion and Elvis Presley (in hologram) singing 'If I Can Dream'. The lyrics brings us to a different world.

There must be lights burning brighter somewhere
Got to be birds flying higher in a sky more blue
If I can dream of a better land
Where all my brothers walk hand in hand
Tell me why, oh why, oh why can't my dream come true
Oh why

There must be peace and understanding sometime
Strong winds of promise that will blow away
the doubt and fear
If I can dream of a warmer sun
Where hope keeps shining on everyone
Tell me why, oh why, oh why won't that sun appear

We're lost in a cloud
With too much rain
We're trapped in a world
That's troubled with pain
But as long as a man
Has the strength to dream
He can redeem his soul and fly

Deep in my heart there's a tremblin' question
Still I am sure that the answer, answer's gonna come somehow
Out there in the dark, there's a beckoning candle, yeah
And while I can think, while I can talk
While I can stand, while I can walk
While I can dream, please let my dream
Come true......right now

Lyrics by Elvis Presley

The recent devastation at Haiti brought me back to this song and I think Elvis is a Pisces at heart.

The Pisces is a true dreamer...

Quotes of the Past Few Days

While I waited for my hair to dry, I thought I would jot this down:

Ode’s dad: Is your team building this weekend held in Waikiki?
Mum: Good one Philip…
Parents having a blast when they meet…

Rafael: You must attack like a cobra, if you don’t know how, watch animal planet!
At capoeira class and that’s only a hint of sarcasm.

Suresh: How dare you meet me looking so unsexy?
Dude, it’s a mamak and selekeh is comfy.

Vanessa: You know the blowing ball…
Me: The what?
Meant to be bowling ball. Nominated for the sasul of the year and definitely gets my vote. A true Mrs Clown

Ode’s dad: Their 1am is 9pm
Mum: Yeah, I agree!
Again, parents’ having a blast but what’s weird is that your other culprit of friends laughs innocently at the statement.

Priest: We should thank them for serving cocktails outside the church
On the recent events of Molotov Cocktail throwing over the Allah issue.

John Doe: I know we just met you but would you like to come over my place for a drink?
Invitation declined… In a nice firm no way

Neighbour: Kucing you pagi tadi bersandiwara
Get a room Beng!

Grandma: Can you do that?
Referring to a smack down on WWE… I take it as a compliment!

Grandma: The Coke in can is much nicer than in the bottle
Looks like we have the same view… Many can’t tell the difference (My Coke only comes in a can)

Dad: It's your choice, do whatever that makes you happy...
I should have taken the opportunity to bring up about tattoo at this point

Good God!

In the light of the mini jihad that’s been happening today, a bunch of us we’re exchanging emails as if it was our full time job to talk about politics and religion. Those in the email loop we’re mostly Catholics and few Hindus and it is of the 2 religion that has been facing the latest religious persecution from ignorant and politically motivated parties.

My mind flashed back to the time I encountered personal attacks against my religion from my fellow classmates. I was 9 years of age, barely knowing what my faith and religion was all about but I knew it felt right to believe what I believed in at that time.

One of the things they would accuse me of is that I worshipped a statue. For that I would go to hell and what’s even more ridiculous is that they claimed that no matter how bad they were on earth, they would still go to heaven because they were in the right religion. To make things worst, they had the ustazah to confirm it because I was darn too stubborn to listen to their explanation. Being respectful that she (the ustazah) was an educator and an older person, I did not argue. Then of course when I got back to my seat, I still told them that I refused to believe.

I remember having won the inter-school spelling bee competition, I was given the chance to represent the school for the district level and a teacher said, “Orang kafir menang? (a non-believer won?)”. Unbelievable that I tolerated those discriminatory remarks but what could I have done? I was young and naïve and it is too bad that I was smarter.

I have grown to understand that my fellow classmates were just kids who didn’t fully understand their faith just as I at that time but up to today, I cannot believe (and I’ve even had the years to digest it) that the adults were teaching young minds the wrong things. How do you expect society today, to not be what they are from all those years of learning the wrong teachings?

You can’t teach old dog new tricks and from here we simply know that the root of the problem is that people have been led to believe wrongly and you can’t easily sway years of believe that ‘my God was someone who was shameless because He was naked on the cross!’ I do however appreciate and give credit to many other people who have chosen to open their minds against the ‘traditional’ teachings.

I don’t know what’s being thought these days but I do believe kids are smarter and we have people from the majority race fighting for us of minority race. They are also badly persecuted for their cause but it’s what we need and it’s one of the signs that it’s changing for the better. I’d hate to think my kid would have to go through discrimination as I did. It would be very sad to know that.

We can only hope… speak up, continue to have faith and respect other religion like it was ours.

“Religion is to do right. It is to love, it is to serve, it is to think, it is to be humble.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

From Exvasure to Thingamajig

If I was a guitar, I would be a Gibson Flying V

If I was a car, I would be an Audi

If I was a gun, I would be a M24 Sniper

If I was a Transformer, I would be Jazz (He does capoeira, check out the way he intro himself in the first movie)

If I was an animal, I … A cat

If I was a Sunday morning cartoon, I would love to be Jam

If I was a movie, I’d be Wanted

If I was a band, I would be Guns N Roses

If I was a Football Team, I would be The Samba Boys

If I was a man, I’d be an underwear model

If I was a blog, I would be BlogSpot

Courtesy of Exvasure

The Checkered Game

Don’t play with fire if you’re not sure what you’re getting yourself into. The moment it burns you, you'd wished you didn’t light up the matches in the first place. Your opponent might know your strategy but you’re too inexperience and gullible to realize and you move your pawn impulsively and blindly not knowing that he has 3 more moves to a check mate. He is waiting patiently for your last move but his face twists in confusion.

And then…

There goes your king...

Axe!!

I was on a long break from capoeira and I finally went back today… As usual I was greeted by Rafa like the normal way… A Michael Jackson “ooowww!!” It’s been stuck with me since I corrected him of my surname when I just started. He used to pronounce the Michael as Michelle and I told him, “You know Michael as in Michael Jackson?” So, it’s stuck with me as long as I can remember.

So, I’ve been gone long enough to now discover that the class has been repainted in the Brazilian theme of yellow and green, quite the Brazilian-Capoeira friendly and Rafa’s added a new tattoo across his uppers abs. As I commented on his tattoo, I had to remember not to stare at it for too long…

After the many “Where have you been?” class finally started. I thought, since class had been closed for 2 weeks due to the festive season, he might have mercy on us. I thought wrong. The guy never fails to push hard enough til your limbs go soft.

As I was trying to keep my balance in what I call the superman position, my thighs were shaking staying in that position while the whole class took turns to count before we restarted again by switching sides. You hardly could cheat cos he walks over to correct your posture as how he had instructed it to be... Leg straight, bend lower, face forward and what not. It was kind of a relief to see that the rest have rusted too over the holiday. I was not the only one losing my balance.

And the push ups… oh, the push ups!!! After staying in a position of full push up and half push up again with the whole class counting in each position, we still had to do an amount of 3 legged push ups which means you have switch sides as opposed to the normal push ups! He was killing me softly. What else? Oh… I can’t explain how you do this in words but it was another killer… No one had strong enough knees to pull themselves up. I barely did quarter and finally we get our water break. You don’t get to drink unless and until he tells you to.

Anyway, what I dread most is to walk across the class in a ponte (bridge) position and I actually practiced my bridge yesterday to feel how bad the strain was. It’s a good thing he did not have that today. When we finally came to the actual capoeira kicks and moves, I realized he went slower on that today and I was thankful for that.

At times during class, I ask myself why do I pay to get tortured but going for class has never failed to make me feel pleased with myself that I did something to make myself healthier (I don’t exactly have the healthiest habits and lifestyle) and it’s an artistic way of staying healthier. It has rhythm, it’s technical and it’s unique. It’s tough and I do get lazy but I somehow still look forward to it.

I hope I get my nick name or apeleido changed this year… It’s currently Palito which means stick… I don’t like it. I mean, some other people get Raposa which means fox or Boca Grande which means big mouth, haha! Palito is pretty lame.

Everyone's Day

Another year just passed by… Again! As I was on the way to work for a New Year event, I looked at Rupa and I remembered exactly how we were on the way to work the previous year on 31st December and our boss was calling us to check if we were late. Like it happened just yesterday… I grew up with the same friends, hang out with them and eventually some of us work together as our part time job.

I was tattooing hands, necks and feet and it’s not exactly pleasant smell you get to have to bend down to a feet putting on body glue and glitters but at the stroke of midnight we stopped our work and gathered to watch the fireworks. It’s a bittersweet moment because some moments just pass you by all over again that gives you a certain familiarity of how it felt like at that time when you went through it. Then, you know there’s a chance to mend things for the better.

2009 has been kind to me… Like any other person, I have my demons, my ups and downs and my regrets, happy moments and fears. I have thought of what I want in 2010 and I’m hoping some things would work out.

Here’s to an amazing 20-10 and may you achieve whatever you have set out for yourself. God bless…

Shit… I’m getting a year older!